Marriage RealityPactPuffer

3h ago 3 min read

Three Months Into Marriage, I Became His Housemaid

I honestly don't know what happened to the man I married. During our dating and courtship, he was the kind of man who made me believe marriage would be a partnership. If I was cooking, he would wash the plates. If I was cleaning, he would help me arrange the room. Sometimes, he would even notice that I was tired and tell me to rest while he handled some of the chores. That was one of the things I loved about him. So when we got married, I naturally believed nothing would change. Unfortunately, three months into our marriage, everything changed. Suddenly, the man who once helped me with house chores started behaving as though touching anything in the house was beneath him. He would wake up, eat, use whatever he needed, and leave everything for me. I work at a bank as a cashier, and my job is mentally and physically exhausting. There are days I spend hours attending to customers, counting money, balancing accounts and dealing with the pressure that comes with handling people's transactions. By the time I close from work, all I want is a shower, food and somewhere comfortable to rest. But most times, I come home and meet another shift waiting for me. Dirty plates. Unwashed clothes. A messy kitchen. Dust everywhere. Sometimes the bathroom needs cleaning too. And the person who has been home for most of the day is sitting comfortably, waiting for me to come and start doing everything. There have been days I've entered the house after a particularly stressful day at work and just stood at the doorway looking at the mess. I would feel tears gathering in my eyes because I couldn't understand how I had gone from being his partner to becoming the person responsible for keeping the entire house running. The worst part is that he knows how tired I am. I've spoken to him about it countless times. We've argued about it more times than I can remember. I've explained that I don't mind doing my share of the chores, but I cannot carry everything alone while also working a demanding job. His response is usually that housework is part of a wife's responsibility. I once suggested that we get a maid to help with the heavy chores since we can afford it, especially because his job allows him to stay at home more often than I do. He refused. According to him, there is no need for a maid because "a wife should be able to take care of her home." That statement broke something inside me. Because before we got married, apparently I was a woman he could support. After marriage, I became a wife who was expected to serve him. Sometimes I deliberately remember the man he used to be during our courtship. The man who would pick up a broom without being asked. The man who would wash plates beside me while we talked and laughed. I keep asking myself where that man went. I'm beginning to dread coming home from work because I already know what awaits me. Yesterday, I came home completely exhausted. I had spent almost the entire day on my feet at the bank. My head was pounding, my back hurt, and I hadn't even eaten properly. I opened the door and saw dirty plates in the kitchen and clothes scattered around the house. My husband was at home. He looked at me and simply said, "You're back." Something inside me snapped. I didn't shout. I didn't insult him. I just went into the bedroom, sat on the edge of the bed and started crying. I cried because I wasn't crying over dirty plates. I was crying because I felt alone in a marriage that was supposed to give me companionship. I don't want a husband who occasionally helps me so I can call him a good man. I want a partner who understands that we are both building this home together. I'm scared that if I continue like this, resentment will eventually replace the love I have for him. And honestly, I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that I'm okay.