RelationshipsAnonymous

1 Oct 2 min read

She got pregnant after one night with me, but her ex-boyfriend’s family is deciding what happens next

I met this girl sometime ago, and what happened between us was honestly supposed to be a one-time thing. We had sex and used a condom, but somewhere along the line, the condom broke. I didn't realize how serious it could become until a few weeks later when she contacted me and told me she was pregnant. At first, I was shocked, but I decided not to run away from my responsibility. She told me she couldn't terminate the pregnancy because she had previously taken some herbal medicine for ovarian cysts, and according to the herbal practitioner, getting pregnant after taking the herbs would make termination difficult. There was plenty of drama between us, and eventually even her sister and her sister's husband contacted me so we could discuss the situation properly. I accepted that if the pregnancy was mine, I would take responsibility for the child. I wasn't planning to abandon her or pretend nothing happened. But just when I thought we had reached an understanding, everything changed again. Last week, she suddenly came to me and said she was bleeding. I became worried and started asking questions. Later, I discovered that she had actually tried to terminate the pregnancy using drugs her ex-boyfriend's sister gave her. According to her, it didn't work. I was angry because I felt she should have told me before making such a serious decision, especially after I had already accepted responsibility. After we talked, we eventually settled the matter. I thought that was the end of the confusion, but a few days later she came back again with another story. She told me her ex-boyfriend and his mother had been telling her that she should terminate the pregnancy. I honestly lost my temper. I couldn't understand why her ex-boyfriend's family suddenly had so much influence over a pregnancy that resulted from something between me and her. I took the matter to her sister because I was already tired of the whole situation. Her sister also sounded exhausted. She told me she had tried talking to her several times and was tired of the drama. According to her, if the girl wanted to listen to her ex-boyfriend and his family, then I should leave her to make her own decision. Now I'm completely confused. I don't know whether to continue trying to be involved or simply step back and let her handle whatever decision she wants to make. I accepted responsibility when I thought the situation was straightforward, but now another man and his family seem to be influencing every decision. I also don't want to force anyone to keep a pregnancy they don't want, but at the same time, I don't want to be treated like I don't exist after being told that I was responsible for the pregnancy. I'm beginning to wonder whether I should completely distance myself from this situation until she knows exactly what she wants. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?