Opening Doors Isn’t the Love Language I Need
We haven’t been dating for very long, but there’s already something about this relationship that has been bothering me. He lives quite far from me, so whenever I want to visit him, he usually tells me to get an Uber. I’ll pay for the ride to his place, and when it’s time to leave, I’ll order another Uber and pay for that one too. What makes it confusing is that he acts caring in his own way. When I arrive, he’ll open the Uber door for me and help me get out. When I’m leaving, he’ll open the door again and make sure I get in properly. Sometimes, he’ll even tell the driver to drive carefully and make sure I get home safely. But he has never once offered to pay for my Uber. I honestly don’t know how to feel about it. I’m not expecting him to fund my entire life or pay for everything whenever we go out. But if I’m travelling all the way to see someone I’m dating, is it really too much to expect him to occasionally handle the transportation? At some point, I started wondering if I was being unreasonable. Maybe this is just his way of showing care, and maybe he genuinely doesn’t see anything wrong with me paying for my own transportation. But for me, the effort feels incomplete. Opening the car door is nice, and telling the driver to be careful is thoughtful, but those things don’t mean much to me when I’m the one constantly paying to get there and get back. These days, I’ve stopped visiting him altogether. I don't want to keep spending money going to someone who doesn't seem to consider the cost of getting there. Would I be asking for too much if I simply told him, “When I come to visit you, I’d appreciate it if you could take care of my Uber fare”? Or is this actually a red flag that I shouldn’t ignore? Because honestly, opening doors and telling the driver to drive carefully aren't love languages I understand.
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