FamilySmartLion

3 Aug 3 min read

My Father Chose a Second Wife Over My Mother… Now He Only Wants the Wife He Once Neglected

My mother already had four children with my father when he decided to marry another wife. The most painful part wasn't that he wanted a second wife. It was that he never discussed it with my mother. My grandmother fully supported his decision, and my mother only found out when it was time to bring the new wife home. I still remember what happened next. The bed my mother slept on while nursing my younger sister was taken away and given to the new wife. My mother was left to sleep on bare wooden planks. Every night, she spread old clothes over the planks to make them a little softer before lying down. When she complained, my grandmother simply said, "If you don't like it, leave. He is a man of many wives." My father was also a violent man. He be*t my mother repeatedly, often right in front of us. Several times she tried to leave, but relatives always persuaded her to stay, insisting that everything would eventually get better. It never did. A few years later, my father sent my mother and us children back to our hometown so we could get a better education, while he remained behind with his second wife. My mother had no savings, no stable income, and no support. She had to start life all over again. She sold fruits, food items, soft drinks, rice in schools—anything that could bring in enough money to keep us fed and pay our school fees. Whenever fees were due, my father would tell her to borrow money and promise he would repay it later. Most times, he never did. Those unpaid debts became a burden that still follows my mother today. Yet she refused to give up. She wanted to learn how to read and write properly, hoping education would give her a better future. My father stopped her. His reason was unbelievable: "The second wife won't like it." He even discouraged her from opening a bank account. Later, my mother decided to build a single-room house so she would no longer have to repair leaking grass huts every rainy season. Again, my father tried to stop her because the second wife still lived in a hut. This time, my mother refused to obey. She built the room anyway. Ironically, whenever my father came to visit, it was that same room he stayed in. Then in 2014, insurgency forced my father and several relatives to flee their community. The person who hired vehicles, paid the transport costs, and brought everyone to safety—including the second wife—was my mother. The woman who had been neglected became the one everyone depended on. As the years passed, she continued carrying almost every responsibility for the family. Today, my father is old and struggles with serious health problems. Despite everything he put her through, my mother still makes sure he eats well, takes his medication, and receives proper care. But gratitude rarely comes. Instead, he still insults her and sometimes tries to intimidate her. Watching this marriage has affected me more than I can explain. As the first child, I postponed marriage for years because I was terrified of ending up in a relationship like theirs. Now my mother wants to spend more time with me. My father says he feels abandoned. We suggested he stay with his second wife for a while. After all, this should be the season when he enjoys the benefits of the family he chose to build. But he refuses. He insists on staying with my mother. The truth is simple: the wife he neglected, humiliated, and took for granted is the only one still willing to care for him. Sometimes life has a way of revealing who truly loved, who merely endured, and who only remembers your value when everyone else has walked away.