MarriageHavenDove

30 Aug 2 min read

My Marriage Feels Like a Long-Distance Relationship I Never Signed Up For

I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep doing this. My husband and I have been married, but for over two years now, we haven't been able to see each other in person. Sometimes I look at other couples going out together, arguing over small things, sleeping in the same bed or simply doing everyday life together, and I can't help feeling jealous. People think being married automatically means you have someone beside you when life gets hard. But imagine being married and still having to go home every day to an empty space. Imagine missing your husband so much, but the only thing you can do is stare at old pictures, wait for calls and pray that one day things will finally change. The plan was for him to come and visit me, but his travel visa got rejected. That rejection honestly broke something in me because we had been hoping so much that it would finally bring us together again. Now the responsibility of travelling has fallen on me, but my job makes it almost impossible for me to leave. Every time I try to plan a trip, something comes up. Work responsibilities, timing, money, leave approval… there is always one problem or another. It's frustrating because I feel like I'm being forced to choose between maintaining my career and seeing the man I married. The loneliness is starting to get to me. I have people around me, I go to work, I talk to friends and try to live normally, but at the end of the day, I still feel like something important is missing. There are moments when I just want someone to hold me, talk to me face-to-face or simply sit beside me without a phone screen separating us. Video calls are no longer enough for me. Messages are no longer enough either. I miss the real things—the presence, the laughter, the little arguments, going out together and just existing in the same space. Sometimes I feel guilty for being this unhappy because I know my husband is also suffering from the distance, but I'm honestly tired. The hardest part is not even knowing when this situation will end. Two years is a long time to keep telling yourself, “Soon, we'll be together again.” At what point does “soon” start feeling like a lie? I love my husband, and I don't want the distance to destroy what we have, but I'm scared of how lonely and emotionally exhausted I'm becoming. I guess I'm just writing this because I want to know if anyone else has ever been in a long-distance marriage that lasted this long. How did you cope with the loneliness? How did you stop the distance from affecting your relationship? Because right now, I love my husband deeply, but this situation is lowkey killing me emotionally, and I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that I'm okay.