Marriage RealityAnonymous

14 Jul 3 min read

At 21, I Lost My Marriage and Became a Single Mother.

The woman who sent this story asked to remain completely anonymous. She says she has kept this pain to herself for months, but now wants people to hear her story. I got married at 20. By the time my husband came for my introduction and traditional marriage, I was already heavily pregnant. People talked, but I ignored them because I believed I was marrying the man who would stand by me for life. A few months later, I gave birth to our son through a cesarean section. The surgery was difficult, and recovery was worse. I was constantly in pain and still trying to adjust to being a first-time mother. Barely four months after delivery, my husband started demanding for intimacy. I begged him to be patient because I was still healing, but he wouldn't stop asking. Eventually, I gave in just to avoid the constant pressure. A few weeks later, I discovered I was pregnant again. I was terrified. My son wasn't even six months old, and I knew my body hadn't recovered from the first pregnancy. When I told my husband, he agreed that I shouldn't continue with it. He even promised to give me money to terminate the pregnancy. But everything changed after he informed his mother. Suddenly, my husband, his mother and his younger sister all turned against me. They called me wicked and selfish for wanting to end the pregnancy. Nobody cared that I was the one whose life was at risk. Afraid they would force me to keep it, I borrowed money from a friend and secretly terminated the pregnancy. The day I told my husband, my marriage changed forever. His mother and younger sister practically moved into our house. I lost my peace, my privacy, and even control over my own kitchen. Every day came with insults, accusations and emotional torment. I cried almost every night while carrying my little baby. Two months later, my mother-in-law and I had an argument. I raised my voice but never insulted her. She and her daughter confronted me, and in the struggle, her daughter got hurt while I defended myself. That incident became the end of my marriage. They reported me to my husband's village, accusing me of beating my mother-in-law. Nobody cared to hear my side. When I called my family, hoping they would take me in, they refused. They said leaving my husband's house after just one year of marriage would bring shame to the family. Broken and confused, I went to my father's house for three days. When I returned, all my belongings had been packed outside. My mother-in-law and her daughter told me to leave with my son. They called me an ogbanje and accused me of being the reason their son wasn't progressing in life. The most painful part was that my husband watched everything happen without saying a single word. With nowhere else to go, I carried my baby and moved into a friend's house. I was just 21 years old. Only a year earlier, people had danced at my wedding. Now I was a homeless single mother, trying to rebuild my life from nothing. Today, my husband says I can only return if I apologise to his mother and younger sister and travel to their village to perform traditional rites for allegedly beating his mother. Sometimes I wonder if I ever truly had a husband, or if I was simply married into a family that never accepted me. If this woman were your sister or daughter, would you advise her to apologise and return for the sake of her child, or tell her to move on and never look back?