How MuchSuperHornet

18 Aug 2 min read

Three Bottles on the First Date

I went on a first date with a woman I had genuinely been interested in. From our previous conversations, she came across as intelligent, calm and well-mannered, so I was looking forward to finally meeting her in person. Things changed the moment we sat down. She ordered a bottle of beer almost immediately. I didn't think much of it because I knew she drank occasionally. But before our food even arrived, she had finished the first bottle and requested another. The waiter brought the second bottle but forgot to leave the opener. While he went back to get it, she didn't even wait. She grabbed the bottle and popped it open with her teeth. Then she continued drinking while happily talking about how excited she was that we had finally met. By the time our meal was over, she had finished three bottles. I hadn't even touched my malt. What surprised me wasn't just the amount she drank. It was how comfortable she seemed with it. She was completely cheerful and energetic, but honestly, I couldn't reconcile what I was seeing with the woman I thought I had gotten to know. Then came the part that completely caught me off guard. As we were preparing to leave, she looked at me and said, "So you're really going to let me go home alone?" I told her I thought we had agreed to take things slowly and that I expected intimacy to come after we had officially established a relationship. She laughed and said, "I already like you. As far as I'm concerned, we're together. Why are we acting like teenagers?" I still refused. She then asked whether I was rejecting her because I didn't find her attractive. I told her that wasn't the issue, but I wasn't comfortable taking things that far on our first meeting. She eventually left, but since that night, she has repeatedly called and messaged me, asking why I've suddenly become distant. I eventually told her the truth. Her drinking bothered me. I don't want a partner whose lifestyle revolves around alcohol, and seeing her finish three bottles on our first date made me realise that our lifestyles might be very different. Her response surprised me. She said she was willing to stop drinking if that was what it would take for us to work. She insists that she genuinely likes me and doesn't want one evening to destroy what could become a serious relationship. Now I'm confused. Maybe I judged her too quickly based on one night. But at the same time, I believe first impressions matter, especially when you're considering a serious relationship. I don't want to control another adult's choices, but I also don't want to enter a relationship hoping to change someone later. Was I right to walk away, or should I give her another chance and judge her based on who she really is beyond that first date?