ConfessionsPeachTwig

3 Sept 2 min read

I HATE THE WAY MY BODY LOOKS BECAUSE OF SOMETHING I CAN’T CONTROL

I don't think I'm ugly. At least, I try not to see myself that way. I'm a full-figured woman, soft and a little thick, with a small belly pouch. My face isn't perfect either, but I wouldn't say I'm unattractive. Most days, I can look in the mirror and accept what I see. But there is one thing about my body that has made me extremely insecure for years. I started experiencing hormonal changes when I was very young, around primary school age, and I went through puberty much earlier than most girls my age. As I grew older, one of the things that came with it was excessive body hair. And when I say excessive, I mean it is almost everywhere. My arms, legs, stomach, face and other parts of my body have more hair than I feel comfortable with. It has affected the way I dress and even the way I carry myself around people. I avoid wearing dresses, skirts and anything that exposes too much skin. Even when the weather is hot, I sometimes wear long trousers and long sleeves because I'm scared someone will notice and start asking questions. There have been times I've wanted to wear something beautiful, only to change my mind after looking at my body. The worst part is having to constantly think about removing the hair. Shaving takes time, and because of how quickly it grows back, I can't keep doing it every few days. Sometimes my skin gets irritated, and honestly, I just get tired of dealing with it. I wish I could wake up one morning and not have to think about it. I've tried convincing myself that it shouldn't matter. I tell myself that there are more important things in life and that body hair doesn't determine whether someone is beautiful or worthy of love. But when I see other women confidently wearing sleeveless tops or dresses, I sometimes wonder what it would feel like to have that same confidence. My biggest fear is that one day I'll meet someone I genuinely like, and the moment he sees my body, he will be disgusted or lose interest. I know it may sound like I'm overthinking, but when you've spent years hiding something about yourself, it's difficult not to wonder how another person will react. I'm slowly trying to accept that my body isn't something I should hate because of a condition I never chose. But some days are harder than others. I just want to know: If you were dating someone you really liked and discovered she had excessive body hair because of hormonal issues, would it genuinely change how you felt about her?