Work & CareerAnonymous

22 Sept 3 min read

Four Months In, and I’m Still Wondering If I’m Learning or Just Being Used

I’m a 25-year-old woman living in Port Harcourt. I lost my parents at a young age and have no siblings, so I’ve always had to rely on hard work and determination to survive. One of my biggest dreams is to become a professional chef someday, but finances have always stood in my way. A woman from my church noticed my passion and offered to help me learn baking and catering skills. I was excited and deeply grateful. At the time, I was working as a live-in domestic worker, so I had to seek permission from my employer before accepting the opportunity. Thankfully, I was allowed to attend the training from Monday to Friday, between 7 a.m. and 2 p.m., while still carrying out my duties at home afterward and dedicating Saturdays to work. I believed I was finally taking a step toward a better future. But as the weeks turned into months, I began to notice something troubling. Instead of receiving regular lessons, most of our time was spent working in a production business that made snacks, cakes, and other products. Every day, we peeled, sliced, packaged, and prepared products for sale from morning until closing time. The physical stress became overwhelming. My back and waist constantly ached. After returning home, I was often too exhausted to complete my chores properly. Yet I kept pushing because I convinced myself that the sacrifice would eventually pay off. I told myself that learning takes patience. The problem was that after four months, I still felt like I wasn’t learning much. A fellow trainee eventually suggested that we speak up since we were contributing labor daily while receiving little actual training. Together, we approached our tutor and respectfully requested a small monthly allowance as part-time workers. We suggested ₦40,000 each. After some discussion, she agreed to pay ₦20,000 monthly instead. While my colleague was satisfied, my situation was different. I spend over ₦10,000 every month on transportation alone, leaving me with less than half of that amount. Financially, it barely made a difference, but I still hoped things would improve. Then something happened that left me confused. Just four days after agreeing to pay us, she called me early on a Saturday morning and demanded to know why I wasn’t at work. I reminded her that Saturdays were reserved for my domestic job and that she had always known this from the beginning. Instead of understanding, she became upset and said I was no longer a student but a worker and should be available. I was shocked. I apologized in the moment because I didn’t know what else to do, but afterward I kept replaying the conversation in my head. If I’m truly a worker, then why am I still paying transportation from my own pocket to do physically demanding tasks while receiving very little training? And if I’m still a student, why am I being treated like an employee expected to work extra days? Now I feel stuck. Part of me wants to quit and focus on the job that actually provides my livelihood. Another part of me worries that leaving means giving up on my dream of becoming a chef. My employer had warned me to be careful about the opportunity from the beginning, but I was desperate for a chance to build a better future. Four months later, I honestly don’t know whether I’m being helped, helping someone else, or simply allowing my dream to blind me to reality. Have I been unreasonable for asking for compensation? Should I stay and hope things improve, or walk away before I invest even more time and money into something that may never teach me the skills I went there to learn?