Everyone Said I Was Brave... But I Feel Like I Was Just Stupid.
Three years ago, I was the guy everyone admired. I had just secured a government job after NYSC. My parents celebrated like I had won the lottery. My relatives kept saying, "Your future is settled." But deep down, I wasn't happy. I had spent years learning software development. I'd done online courses, built projects, and dreamed of working with global companies. Sitting behind a government desk from 8 a.m. to 4 p.m. for the next 30 years felt like a prison sentence. So I resigned. People thought I had lost my mind. My father didn't speak to me for weeks. My uncles said I was too proud. Even my friends warned me that Nigeria wasn't a country where you gamble with a stable job. Still, I believed in myself. For the first year, everything went well. I got remote jobs that paid in dollars. I could pay my bills, support my family, and even bought my first car. I kept telling myself, "See? I made the right decision." Then everything changed. One company downsized. Another client disappeared without paying me. The tech market became more competitive. Today, I haven't had a steady income in months. I've sold my car. I've moved out of my apartment into a self-contained room just to reduce expenses. The same people who once called me "bold" now use me as an example when advising their children. "Don't be like him. Opportunity only comes once." The painful part is that I still love what I do. Every time I write code, I remember why I left that government job. But passion doesn't stop landlords from asking for rent. Passion doesn't reduce the price of food. Passion doesn't answer your mother's question when she asks, "When will things finally get better?" Last week, someone told me another government recruitment was ongoing. For the first time in my life, I opened the application portal... ...and just stared at the screen. I couldn't click "Apply." I also couldn't close the page. I honestly don't know which decision I'll regret more.
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