My boyfriend found out through a DNA result that his father isn’t his biological father. His dad conducted the DNA just recently and unfortunately, among all four of them, he is the only one who doesn’t belong to the man.
He is 23 and also the first child but the man has withdrawn all support he is rendering to him and also divorced his wife, my bf’s mother.
Now my bf’s mom said the biological father of my boyfriend is a relative of his ex – father so she can’t display his identity else it would create a confusion between them.
She said she has told the man what had happened and the man would be supporting him (my bf) through school just like his father was but she cannot reveal the man’s identity until the day of her death.
The issue is a very serious one. My boyfriend wants to really know his father, at least. It was very embarrassing when he and his mother were driven out of the house after the results.
Knowing his father would bring him some relief but his mother has sworn never to reveal the man because when she does, her shame would even become bigger so the man would be supporting my bf anonymously.
I’m sharing this anonymously on my bf’s behalf because he’s really sad and depressed. I want to help him but I don’t know how. I’m 21 and we’re in the same university.
He is now a shadow of himself. His siblings and ex father have cut communication with him and the mother. His ex father took everything from him. It was really very embarrassing and almost everyone they knew as a family got to know of what happened. His mother is embarrassed and doesn’t want to be seen much so its making my boyfriend kind of hide himself too.
Please, what should he do? I want to help him.
3 Responses
Dammmn, knowing this wouldn’t be easy on him, but he shouldn’t pause his entire existence cos of that, instead he should thrive harder,, he needs all the support he can get right now, so please hun, try dey for am💯. Em go Dey alright.
What happened has happened, he should move on, as long as he has an anonymous father to continue paying school fees, then he should focus more on his studies and future, he will surely overcome the situation, that awful faze of life will surely pass by, once he makes it in life all this story will be a bye gone.
I’m truly sorry to hear about what your boyfriend and his family are going through.
This is an incredibly challenging situation, and it’s understandable that he’s feeling lost and hurt.
Here are some steps he might consider:
Seek Support: Encourage him to seek counseling to help him process his emotions.
We have certified therapists on this platform, they will be more than willing to help. This is a lot to handle, and a professional can provide guidance and support.
Build a Support Network: It’s important for him to surround himself with supportive friends and possibly other family members who are understanding.
Respect His Mother’s Wishes: As difficult as it may be, he needs to respect his mother’s decision not to reveal the biological father’s identity right now. She likely has her reasons, and pushing her may strain their relationship further.
Focus on Self-Care: Encourage him to take care of himself physically and mentally. This includes eating well, exercising, and engaging in activities he enjoys.
Consider Legal Advice: If his father has cut off financial support that he was legally entitled to (such as for education), he might want to consult a lawyer to understand his rights and options.
Focus on Education and Future Goals: Encourage him to stay focused on his education and future goals despite the turmoil. Having a clear path forward can provide stability and purpose.
Stay Positive and Patient: Recovery from such a shock takes time. Encourage him to be patient with himself and the situation.
Lastly, let him know that you’re there for him as a supportive friend. Sometimes just having someone who listens and cares can make a big difference.