It all started in 2015 when I followed my best friend to see her then-boyfriend. Immediately he saw me, he got attracted to me but the truth is I never felt anything for him. He made it known the same day but I thought he was joking. Somehow we started attending the same church two years later and we happened to be in the same department so there was a reason for us to get close. His girlfriend was my roommate at the time so it was only normal for him to come around.
Soon, they started having issues but he would still come around to check on her until one day, he came, and my friend was not around. There was no reason for me to send him away since we had become good friends. I welcomed him and asked him to wait for my friend. But that day all he talked about was his relationship problems and I listened. I pitied him a lot because my friend was already dating someone else so I entertained subsequent conversations about their problems.
Soon, my friend stopped coming home, and whenever the guy came around it was just me. One day, he came and asked me out but I refused immediately using my friend as an excuse. He then told me he knew she had someone else and that it was okay for us to date. I just didn’t feel anything for him maybe because he once dated my friend but this guy won’t leave me alone to the point that he attempted to get inappropriately intimate with me while we were alone. I was confused. I couldn’t tell my friend about it, at the same time it was difficult to detach myself from him, so I kept it to myself.
A few weeks later, I found out that a lot of people including our pastor believed I snatched my best friend’s boyfriend. I was really sad and had to tell my friend not to believe what they all were saying. That was when she confronted me and told me she knew all along that we had something together. I tried so hard to convince her I didn’t date him but she didn’t listen and that put an end to our friendship of five years.
Eventually, we all went our separate ways. I stopped keeping in touch with the guy even though he never stopped messaging and calling me. But I already lost my friend and haven’t been able to get her back.
6 Responses
I totally relate to this story… Always a victim here, my relationship with my best friend in university was damaged because of assumptions I was dating his girlfriend
You sound like you are blaming yourself for how things played out, from what I just read, you didn’t do anything wrong, unless there’s more to this story, if not, don’t blame or feel guilty for what happened. It’s never your fault.
It sounds like you’re carrying a lot of guilt and regret about how things unfolded with your friend and her ex-boyfriend. It’s important to recognize that you didn’t pursue a relationship with him, and you tried to maintain your friendship with your friend. However, circ*mstances and miscommunications led to the situation escalating.
Consider the following:
– Acknowledge your actions: You didn’t encourage his advances, and you tried to prioritize your friendship.
– Let go of guilt: You didn’t pursue a relationship with him, and you weren’t responsible for their breakup.
– Learn and grow: Be more direct in setting boundaries and communicating your intentions in the future.
Remember that you can’t control others’ perceptions or actions, but you can work on your own personal growth and relationships. If you still feel the need to apologize or clear the air with your friend once again, consider reaching out, but also prioritize your own emotional well-being.
So Sorry you have to go through all this stress….
But be rest assured that the truth will definitely surface….
Don’t b**t up yourself too
Don’t hurt or blame yourself ok…I believe sooner or later the truth will be unravelled ok .
Don’t b**t yourself up, your conscious is clear. People would always believe what they what to believe