Nigerian ladies… We’d rather mop the ocean dry than shoot our shots. Don’t blame us, Nigerian men are not nice to ladies who do that. I mean, I am writing this from experience. So if you’re thinking of shooting your shot at that handsome dude, you should read my story to the end to find out what happened the last time I shot my shot.
It all started on my Matriculation day. I mistakenly got drunk on palm wine… Don’t ask how it happened, that’s a story for another day. So while I danced shamelessly in the presence of everyone, a tall caramel-skinned young man walked up to me and said; “Excuse me, can I use your matric gown for a minute?” At that moment, nothing else mattered, every other thing faded away as I got swept off my feet by his beauty. Under the influence, I said to him; “Only if you agree to take a picture with me.” He agreed and I gave him my gown afterwards. Hours later, I was sober and tried to reflect on how much I embarrassed my ancestors that day. That was when I remembered the cute guy I met but unfortunately, I could not remember his face. For over four years, I remembered the incident, I was sure it happened and I wished a stranger would just walk up to me one day to say “Thanks for the other day” but that didn’t happen.
Two years later, I started crushing on a particular guy in my department but as a Nigerian lady now, why should I tell him? Somehow, he started to notice me and we soon became close. We were so close to the point that he called me his “wife” as a joke. I knew he had a girlfriend in the department so I gave up my wish to become more than a friend. But soon, he got really close to me and less close to his girlfriend; it was obvious they were not good. At the time, he was already a regular at my hostel. He had always been my reading pal so it was normal to come over and study with me. But one night, we finished reading, ate, and slept… Suddenly, this guy held me from the back like I was going to run away. At that moment, I realized I still had something for him because I could not push him away. The next morning, he woke up and went back to his hostel like nothing happened. I called my best friend and explained everything to her and she advised that I make the move as we know the guy to be a shy person.
The next day, he came again and held me while sleeping, then I made the move by moving closer to him making sure our lips collided and we kissed. The next morning, he didn’t say anything and left again. I started feeling stupid but a few hours later, he messaged me to meet with him so we could discuss what happened between us. So he asked me if I was attracted to him and I said yes. He remained silent so I felt he had used up all of his courage. I took it up from there and told him we could date. He agreed and we started. Soon, I found out he was my lost prince charming after I shared the story with him one of the nights. However, ladies and gentlemen… That was the beginning of something horrible. This guy stopped walking with me on the road, lied to his friends that we were not dating, told his sister I was just his friend, and would never tell me he loved me or respond to it when I told him instead. The craziest part? He made me feel like the ugliest woman on earth. Everywhere we went, he would point to another woman and say; “if you can just be like that woman, it would be better.” He was always comparing me to other people and preferred to spend time with his friends than with me. I started getting depressed and felt less of myself even though I received daily compliments from strangers whenever I stepped outside. Still, it was difficult to walk away because I loved him too much. I tried to address the issue so many times until he said to me; “Did I ever ask you out”. I felt like jumping into a well. I begged the ground to open up and swallow me but I could still my body and my heart b**ting fast.
Then one night, when I was already having crazy thoughts, I stepped out with a friend to take a small alcohol (just a bottle of Smirnoff, lol). That gave me the courage to pick up my phone to tell him I was no longer interested. I walked away without looking back after I had cried for so many nights. That day I vowed to NEVER shoot my shot again.