My boyfriend and I have dated for over five years. All he has done since 2019 till now is take me for granted and treat me like I’m not of any value to him. In the first year of our relationship, that was 2018, I got pregnant for him. I was only nineteen years and was about writing my final examination (WASSCE) so l obviously had to abort it. He pretended he didn’t want me to abort it at first, so I later told him that I would keep it and write the exams with it like that. He that was initially saying I shouldn’t abort it, asking if that was what I really wanted and stuff suddenly said I should abort it when I later said I won’t abort it. So l realised he wanted me to take the blame, knowing I didn’t have a choice because of my exam. All the same, l aborted it.
December that same year (2018), he got me pregnant again. I was done with school by then, so I didn’t want to abort it. The first one was very painful. He was living alone and was 29 years old by then. I insisted I wanted to keep it but he kept pressuring me to abort it because he didn’t have money and that he wanted to marry me the next year, 2019. I agreed to it and we got rid of it too, making two abortions in one year. The following year, he changed completely towards me. I didn’t know what I did wrong, I felt how distant and inattentive he was to my needs. He is my first, so I couldn’t let go easily. I kept trying to be the best for him. Somewhere June that 2019, he got e pregnant again. He never mentioned anything about his intentions to marry me that year till I got pregnant again, then he started to say he told me he would marry me that year and he was planning it in November so I should abort it then we go see my parents. After the ups and downs, I aborted that one too. He didn’t say anything again till December 2019, I got pregnant again. Now he shifted his marriage plans to 2020 and still made me to abort that pregnancy too.
That was four abortions in two years. I learnt my lesson so l decided not to give him s*xx, unless he was using protection. He always said he will pull out and I get pregnant every time. The whole of 2020, we were having ups and downs because I didn’t allow him to have his way with me that much. I didn’t get pregnant that year.
Beginning of 2021, he called me and spoke to me. He said he was almost 32 and wanted us to settle down that year.
He made us plan the year together and pleaded that I drop everything I’m holding against him and be the lady he met.
Unfortunately for me, he didn’t even follow any of the plans we drafted, instead, he got me pregnant again, the pull out failed him again. He brought in the plan we had for the year and forced me to abort for the fifth time.
That year ended and he didn’t even come to know any relatives of mine.
As at August last year, the total abortions I had done for him was six. I became sick, my stomach and abdomen were always hurting. I was bleeding too. It continued till I visited the hospital and was told my womb(uterus) was weak (uterine prolapse). I was given some drugs and warned not to ever engage in abortion or even have s*xx regularly, especially a vigour one. I decided to hide the results from him, I don’t know why but I just didn’t want to tell him. I stayed away from him because I was avoiding s*xx and drama. This year has been rough for me. I’ve been on drugs the whole year because of him. I never committed a single abortion at a hospital. All was from home. He gave me the medicines or concoctions himself. The doctor said I shouldn’t have used those concoctions, that abortions should be carried out by doctors. I’ve lost weight and all that. We haven’t broken up. We’re still struggling to make this work and then what? He came around one time to tell me he had gotten some lady pregnant. I said OK, he should tell her to abort it. He said No, that the lady was 28 years old so abortion will be harmful for her so he wanted us to end things so he will just so he will just marry her.
Adding that I am still young, 24 and I still have the chance to meet new and better men. He is 35 years old and the lady is 28 so he thinks they’re both too grown for games so l should just let him go. Honestly, I can’t ever recover from the pain this guy is trying to cause me. I’ve just been silent. I don’t even know how to do.
One Response
Indeed this is a very painful experience, no one will be happy with such at all, your patience with him truly shows you love him and wanted the best for both of you together, but most times I do advice people to be sensitive in relationships and not to be moved only by Emotions because it is transient. Dearly dear, the best you can do for your Lovely,Priceless and valuable self is to move on, though it’s painful, but that’s the best you can do, resist the urge to Revenge, since he has told you that he had gotten someone else pregnant and he want to marry her, that simply means he doesn’t want nor love you anymore,that is offensive but never harm yourself either. Just move on,cry if you must so as to ease the heaviness,but stand up, get along with your trusted friends and go more close to your good family members especially those that you can talk to and can also listen to you, Visit the movie houses, go to tourist centers and admire the beauty in nature, Visit the Hospital for proper medical check-up, always talk to your doctors incase of any unfamiliar pains and other noticeable health complications especially as regards the bleeding and the pains in your womb you will be fine soonest,also please don’t forget to TRUST GOD,HE WILL HELP YOU MOST DEFINITELY , Quickly and Timely.