My wife eats more than me. I don’t know why, but it makes me find her extremely unattractive, and I’m beginning not to like her for it. I’ve complained, but she feels I’m trying to prevent her for being herself, so I can’t talk about it anymore.
I don’t know what to do about it because I want her to be herself. She’s okay. But she just eats more than I do and it’s not romantic. I feel I’m suppose to be the one that eats like that while she complains.
Most importantly, she’s adding uncontrollable weight. I love her and I don’t care how much money she spends in the house, I’m just worried about the quantity she consume.
At this point what should I do?
3 Responses
At this point, don’t do anything again.
The first major question, did you notice her eating pattern during courtship or it started in your marriage???
She isn’t changing, Stop nagging her. Doesn’t help anybody.
If this is this big an issue for you, and its only going to get worse, make it a boundary issue and find someone who you are more compatible with lifestylewise.
It’s understandable that you’re concerned about your wife’s eating habits and the impact it’s having on your relationship and her health. Here are the things I will advise you consider:
1. Reflect on Your Feelings: Take some time to understand why her eating habits bother you so much. Is it purely about aesthetics and societal norms, or are there deeper concerns about her health and well-being? Understanding your own feelings can help you approach the situation with empathy and clarity.
2. Approach with Empathy: When discussing this with your wife, approach the topic with empathy and concern for her well-being rather than criticism or judgment. Make it know to her that you care about her health and want both of you to live long, healthy lives together.
3. Focus on Health, Not Appearance: Instead of framing the conversation solely around her weight or attractiveness, focus on health. Discuss the importance of balanced nutrition, regular exercise, and overall well-being. Offer to support her in making healthier choices.
4. Offer Practical Support: Instead of just pointing out the issue, offer to cook healthy meals together, go for walks or exercise together, and find activities that promote a healthy lifestyle as a couple. This shows your commitment to supporting her health.
Respect Autonomy: Ultimately, your wife has the autonomy to make decisions about her own body and health. While you can express concern and offer support, respect her choices and avoid trying to control her behavior.
Work on Communication: Ensure that your discussions about this topic remain constructive and don’t lead to resentment or hurt feelings. Open communication and mutual respect are key in navigating sensitive topics like this in a relationship.
Remember, addressing issues like this requires sensitivity and patience. Focus on the love and care you have for each other, and work together towards solutions that benefit both of you.