I never thought I’d be that type of person, but here I am, checking my partner’s phone when he’s not around.
It began with a simple glance at what they were posting to WhatsApp while out of the room. It escalated to becoming a habit. I know their password now. I look at what they’re sending, Instagram messages, and what they’re searching for at night, even.
We’ve been dating for three years. No red flags. No cheating. Just…this gut feeling I just can’t shake. Perhaps it’s my past. I have been cheated on once, and the deception almost destroyed me. So now, despite everything being okay, I keep probing—just in case.
What’s worse is, I haven’t found anything. They’re kind, consistent, and loving. But still, I do it. I hate myself for it. It feels like I’m being disloyal to the trust I demand of them. But I also feel like I’m safeguarding myself—all I don’t want to do is get blindsided once again.
Isn’t it trauma? Isn’t it insecurity? Or is it intuition? I don’t even know anymore.
Has anybody else ever done this? Is sneaking a peek at your partner’s cell phone ever permissible—or am I going too far?