I was 22 when I got married. There were eagerly signs of what to expect in my marriage, even before tying the knot, since I had been dating my ex for almost 3 years. However 2 of those years were long distance while I pursued my master’s abroad. We did our best to stay connected. The one year we spent together before marriage was great. I was working at my dad’s company and was quite busy, but we still made time to see each other and go and on dates. He was eager to marry since he was 30 and felt time was ticking. He wanted us to marry and relocate abroad, but I was hesitant because I wanted to stay close to my parents. Eventually, I agree and we got married when I was 22. Shortly after I became pregnant and had twins the following year.

Motherhood changed my focus. I poured my energy into raising my kids and set aside my ambitions. Then, I got pregnant again and had another set of twins. That was it for me; I decided not to have more children.

Five years into the marriage, we had frequent disagreements about relocating abroad. It was the only thing we ever argued about. Eventually I gave in and we moved abroad with the kids. But things changed drastically. Life in Nigeria was comfortable and I had good income and a stable home but things were different here. We worked harder and expenses skyrocketed.

My husband also started behaving differently. He stayed out late and was distant. Two years later I returned to Nigeria with the kids without telling him. He only found out after we arrived. I resumed working and enrolled the kids in a good school. Four months later I heard he had married someone else. We lost contact for 5 years. Recently, I found out he had some challenges and was deported. Now he is back asking for a second chance. After everything I still love but I don’t think I can take him back.